Art Teacher Donna Bonavia Blog For Teenagers

Our Childhood Dreams

10/12/2019

Do me a favor, take a moment to think back to when you were a little child and you had dreams of grandeur. Dreams of being a super hero or a Princess. Dreams of being a beautiful bride, a rock star or a famous NBA super star. Do you remember those days when your world was little but your dreams where big? Do you remember back when you innocently believed that anything was possible? You had a sense of wonder and imagination…where did those days go?

I’ll tell you what happened to those days, life got to you! In life we all have trials and tribulations. It doesn’t matter who you are or how much wealth you have in this world, at one time or another you will suffer pain, sorrows and disappointments; no one can escape such things.

Yet it is in how we handle disappointments and failures in life that separate us from each other. Those who continue to dream big despite obstacles and those who give up. We ALL face mountains that we think we can’t climb so we must persevere, have faith and hold onto our dreams.

It is my hope to inspire you not to give up on your dreams; they are worth having. Don’t let life steal them from you. Set goals and make a plan. Dreams don’t become reality through magic; it takes hard work, focus, determination and faith.

Also remember that dreams don’t discriminate, people do. Don’t buy into someone else's view of you, instead view yourself as a person of value. Live with integrity, honor and valor. If you live properly your life will be blessed and your dreams will come to you. Maybe not in the manner that you once held onto as a child, but life will be good and full. You will feel that your life is being lived exactly the way it was meant to be lived and you will be content. There will be peace and happiness in your life, instead of bitterness and regret.

Remember to dream, I am rooting for you! You can do it, I just know you can!!! Love, Ms. B.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of love, being a mother and an artist!

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Rockbridge Young Life Camp in Goshen, VA

10/5/2019

#changinglives

We had a great time at Rockbridge Young Life Camp! Check out our photos. I have been taking kids to camp now for three years. Our first two years we had around 10 kids attend. This year, I was privileged to be able to take 30 kids to Goshen, VA. Everyone had a wonderful time and I could not be more please at how well behave the kids were for me. I love all of you and you make me very proud to be your teacher. Love, Ms. B.

Young Life at Ballou High School! Getting kids out of the city to be still.

10/5/2019

Teaching kids how to be still...

...and how to skip rocks!

Messy Rooms, Messy Lives.

10/4/2019

Have you ever seen that show on TV about hoarders? The show where the TV cameras go into a home of a hoarder and show trash and belongings stacked up to the ceiling? It’s astonishing to see and it is hard to believe that people live like that!

Although I am incredibly neat and organized in my home and classroom, at times, my life can feel like a messy room. Just like a hoarder’s home filled with useless items that pile up to the ceiling causing no space to live, so can an emotional life feel when you hoard past pains and hurts. When we don’t deal with these unwanted emotions right away they seem to have a way of stacking up and causing our life to feel a mess. Sometimes we have to stop what we are doing and ‘clean up’ our mess. Let me explain it this way…

I love metaphors. I will use a metaphor that all of you can relate to. Imagine that you open the door to your bedroom and it is a disaster! You have clothes, water bottles, food wrappers, and dirty dishes everywhere. You think to yourself, “How did I let it get so bad, I have to clean this mess up! I can’t live like this any longer”. So you begin the daunting task of cleaning. At first it is overwhelming, you don’t know where to begin. So you simply start by picking up the junk on the floor. You get overwhelmed by the thought of the task ahead of you and you say to yourself, “I should just shove everything in the closet and hide it”. But you know that the closet is not big enough and it would only be a quick fix. If you don’t do it the right way now you will have to deal with the mess later. So you begin to sort through the mess. You get rid of the clutter by throwing broken things away and keeping the good stuff. Cleaning up will stir up memories…you might stop at times to look at stuff that makes you smile because of happy memories, or look at things that make you cry because of painful memories. But nonetheless you continue on until the room is all clean and orderly.

When it is all done, you lay back in your bed and look around at your spotless room. You feel proud and you enjoy your hard work! You did it, what a great feeling! You tell yourself, “I’m going to keep it this way. I will stay on top of my mess instead of letting it all pile-up. I’ll never let it get that bad again”.

It is the same with our emotional lives. When bad things come our way we have a choice. We can let our painful feelings pile up or shove them in the closet (so to speak), only to have to deal with it later.

On a daily basis, many of you come to me with emotional pains such as parents divorcing, financial struggles, parents who are incarcerated or parents and siblings with alcohol and drug dependency. I have one student who is homeless and sleeping at the beach every night. He was keeping a bag of clothes in my storage closet. I have many who are living in homeless shelters and foster facilities. Where do you put all that pain and disappointments? Do you push it away and don’t deal with it because it is just too difficult to face, allowing it to pile up…like a hoarder’s house? Do you start to drink and/or get involved with drugs to mask the pain? One thing that I know to be true, you eventually will have to deal with it; now or later...but how?

I’ll tell you how, you reach out to someone who can help you. You talk. You open up. Trust me, as I type all of this to you I am convicted in my heart that in the past I did not open up to others about my pain. I kept it all to myself and I suffered. It was not until I learned the ‘art’ of opening up and dealing with my pain and disappointments that I really started to live a victorious and happy life.

It's tough. Life is tough. However, there are many resources available to you here at Ely to help you. There are many teachers, coaches, social workers and staff members that are here for you as well. Trust me...we think that we are the only ones going through stuff but once we open up to others we find out that many have walked the same path that you are walking right now and they made it (with help). I love you guys. Now, go clean up your rooms! LOL, Ms. B.

A New Canvas...Or Paint Over The Old One?

9/30/2019

Today I gave a lot of thought about 'starting over' in life. I can't begin to tell you guys how many times I started over...in life and in art. One of the many reasons that I love teaching is that every year is a new beginning; a chance to start over. Recently on a runner's website I read this quote; "Forgiveness is not laying new paint over the old, but starting over on a new canvas". The quote caught my attention because it hit many areas of my life. My need to forgive, running, painting and, of course, starting over. All areas that I am dealing with currently in my own life.

So, I spent time thinking about it..."Starting over on a new canvas". Unlike many of my friends who read these kinds of, what I call, Facebook quotes, I don't quickly accept it as truth; I stop and ponder first. After pondering this one...I'm thinking, Nah...I would rather paint over the old canvas; I'll tell you why.

Every artist struggles at times with their work. Not all paintings come out like originally planned; just like life. Not all our plans for ourselves turn out like we originally dreamed. How easy it would be for any artist to throw away a painting that just didn't turn out the way they planned or for us to throw away our unfulfilled dreams or even throw away people in our life who wronged us? Let me tell you this: it is easier to throw something in the trash and start all over again than it is to take the time to 'paint over it' so to speak!

As an artist if I was to paint over an old painting, I would first have to allow the painting to dry, sand down any raised areas of paint, wash the canvas of dust then place thin layers of gesso over the old painting until the painting is entirely covered. Finally, the gesso needs to thoroughly dry, then primed and sanded lightly before beginning a new painting. Lots of work!

BUT...sometimes life is about the process, not the product. Life can make us work in order for us to see personal growth. I have painted over many a canvas, not because of lack of money but because I didn't want my mistake to waste a canvas. During the process of painting over the old painting (with all my mistakes that disappointed the outcome of the art), I contemplate how I would do it differently the next time. It gives me 'time to think' so that I don't repeat the same mistake again. It forces me to 'slow down' and plan...reflect...make changes in my creative thinking and then ultimately in the outcome of the new painting.

So, when you think about making changes in your life, your art or in the people and friends around you, think first. Don't take the easy way out. At times, you will grow more as a person and as an artist if you take the time to 'paint over the mistake' instead of quickly discarding your mistakes in life and art.

I love you guys. Life can be hard work. It is up to us to figure out our own path and learn how to navigate through this beautiful universe. Slow down and enjoy the journey. See you in a week! Ms. B.

Picasso didn't throw his old painting way, he painted over it, see!

Words...

11/2/2018

As I sit here in the café of Barnes & Nobel, striving to focus on the task at hand; a writing assignment due in less than a week, I am distracted by the thoughts of how writers and visual artists are similar. Possibly this is a result of the movie that I watched last night on Netflix entitled, Words that has caused me such contemplation today, but none-the-less, here I sit thinking about writers and painters.
Writing is an art just as painting is an art. I have explored many areas of the arts including music. As a young child, I played the piano and the clarinet, but not with great success. I seem to do better in art forms where the art is separate from the artist. Just like the painter walks away from the painting at its completion, so does the writer walks away from the papers when the book is finished. The two do not meet again; it is an archived experience with only the evidence of a name on the work as a reminder that the two were once together. I believe that is why I like to write. I also believe that I am a bit of an anti-social introspective person who thinks too much.
For me, journaling is one of my strongest personal tools, the other is prayer. Both help me to process my emotions, experiences, conflicts, and interactions. Journaling is also a way that I keep a record of my life for my own personal growth. I ‘work things out’ on paper in ways that other people, ‘talk things out’. Maybe this is because I am a coward of sorts and of course we can look back to our childhood to place the blame for all our shortcomings onto our family (just kidding...sort of).
But, there is some truth to this. As the middle child of an Italian family of six, I was the quiet artist type. A spiritual dreamer of sorts. One who experienced more life in her imagination that she ever did in real space and time. I painted more paintings, wrote more books, fell in love more times, and even danced a ballet all in the safe space of my own imagination. My dreams were my retreat from the tough world around me and oh how I loved to daydream!
When it came time for me to express my thoughts out loud, I was always overpowered by the bolder, louder angrier opponent. When faced with such people, often I would concede my defeat and then retreat to my own personal safe place; my painting or writing. I would turn to pen and paper and say all the things that I wanted to say but could not get a word in edgewise.
So today I ask you this question, “Have you ever thought about journaling for ‘working things out’ on paper?” There is a lot of research that shows the benefits of daily journaling. I have written about this topic in the past and I revisit this again with you because it is an area of personal passion. I have experienced the healing process of writing. Daily journaling has released my anxiety, stress and has evoked deeper mindfulness within me in ways that I could not achieve otherwise.
Journaling has also assisted me in achieving my personal goals by helping me to sort and prioritize my plan for success. Just as a builder uses blueprints to build a home, I use my journaling to ‘build’ my dreams. But, the greatest personal benefit that I have achieved through journaling is increasing my emotional and spiritual intelligence. I want the same for all of you!
Let me tell you about some online free journal/diary sites that can assist you to a safe place to begin a personal journal. I enjoy the old fashion way of feeling the pen touch the paper, but I know that it is a different era and many of you have better typing skills compared to handwriting. So, allow me to challenge you to start a daily diary and watch how it transforms you. Below are some of the top ‘free’ online journaling sites that you can use to begin this amazing life changing journey. Here is the link: : Free online journals

Love,
Ms. B.

Happiness & Wealth

6/7/2018

Billionaire, Markus Persson

Have you ever had the thought “If I could only hit the lottery, then I would be the happiest person in the world”? If you had millions of dollars you would never have to work, you could do what ever you wanted to do and have the perfect partner in life, like a super model or a famous star, right?
Well, let me tell you a story about a 36-year-old man name Markus Persson, the founder of “Mindcraft” (massively popular game). Markus Persson sold his company, Minecraft to Microsoft for 2.5 billion dollars last year. I guess you could say that he is the luckiest man in the world, right? Well, not exactly.
The story goes like this. Shortly after he sold his company he went on a spending spree lavishing his friends with extravagant gifts and parties. He also bought a huge mansion. Last December, Persson paid $70 million to outbid a host of celebrities including Beyonce and Jay-Z to buy a ridiculously posh mansion in Beverly Hills. I guess you could say he hit the jackpot of life...he has it all!
But guess what, the story doesn't end here. Last August, Markus Persson went on a sad Twitter spree expressing to the world that, “Hanging out in Ibiza with a bunch of friends and partying with famous people, able to do whatever I want, and I’ve never felt more isolated”.
Check out a few of his Tweets:

Persson is just one example of how ‘money can’t buy you happiness or love’. In my opinion, one of the saddest Tweets that he tweeted was the one about love, where he says, “Found a great girl, but she’s afraid of me and my lifestyle and went with a normal person instead”.
I encourage all of you to dream big and set goals. When I make that statement in class, many of you equate “BIG” with wealthy. I am here to tell you that extreme wealth, access privilege and fame is not a ticket to true happiness.
Happiness in life is not measured in the amount of money you have, it is measured by the quality of relationships you have. It is the people in your life that will create the best memories.
My suggestion is to put aside your thoughts of attaining extreme wealth and build extreme character instead. Be young men and women of integrity. Live a balanced, disciplined life that is healthy physically, mentally and spiritually. Find a good 'life' community, practice gratitude and give back. If you do all of this and are fortunate enough to find true love along the way, then, in my opinion, you have attained extreme wealth! Dream big, but dream smart.
Love, Ms. B.

Graduation

5/31/2018

My favorite medium to paint with is watercolors. I love the transparency of the paint and how the layers work together to create deep rich color. Each layer of paint plays an important part of the outcome of color and ultimately the painting as a whole. However, when I paint in watercolors, I find the task to be arduous and tedious. With watercolors, I need to make very controlled deliberate brush strokes in order to get the exact color that I am trying to achieve. It takes hours and hours of work laying color in order to complete the painting. So many times, I quit and never finish.
Lately, I find that painting with oils gives me great satisfaction because I am able to use broad brush strokes of paint and achieve my desirable outcome more quickly. As I was painting with oil paints last night, I had a revelation about the broad strokes of paint that I was placing on the canvas to the broad strokes of life that I am making in life.
Have you ever heard the expression, “Broad strokes of life”? When someone uses this idiom, they are describing a situation or defining life with broad strokes; meaning that they are leaving out the fine details. Just like an artist can paint a painting with broad strokes and leave out small details that might not be necessary in order to have a beautiful painting, so do we when we focus on a major goal in life instead of a particular activity.
Let me explain it a way that you will understand. High school is like a broad stroke in your life. It is a four-year period where you are accomplishing a degree. However, in the process of accomplishing your degree, (that broad stroke) you encounter many problems, distractions, and frustrations: peer pressure, failures, social problems, grades, etc. As you walk through this time in your life, you never want the small details (fine strokes) to define the ultimate larger goal (broad stroke) which is graduation.
We all face obstacles that set us back. Sometimes our walk-in life is; three steps forward, two steps backward, but we keep walking in order to reach the finish line. We can get very discouraged by life if we focus on the small details. Sometimes the small details cause us to want to quit and give up. It is so important that we keep our eyes focused on the larger goal. Ballou High School has a 54% graduation rate. That means that 46% of our students quit before reaching the goal that they set out to achieve when they entered 9th grade. So, what can you do to be in the 54th percentile that graduates?
My advice to you is not to focus on these fine details that at times causes us to become frustrated and want to quit, but instead keep your eyes on the big picture; the ultimate goal of graduation. Unfortunately, some parents, teachers or schools fail to show the high school student the final picture clearly enough in order for the student to understand what they are working towards. I think that every 9th grader should be required to attend high school graduation ceremonies every year until they actually walk across that stage themselves their senior year. High school graduation should be held during the school day and every student should be required to attend. Possibly, hearing “Pomp and Circumstance” and watching students walk across the stage and handed a diploma will inspire them to persevere and continue to achieve the goal of graduation.
It's easier to quit something that you don’t understand or see will help you in life. It is my greatest desire as a teacher to help you understand that your ticket out of poverty is education. African American author, Brandi Bates put it best when she said, “Wrote my way out of the hood…thought my way out of poverty! Don’t tell me that knowledge isn’t power. Education changes everything”.
Knowledge is power and it is a power that can never be taken away from you. Keep your eyes on the ‘Broader Stroke’ and don’t let the little set-backs keep you from achieving your goal of getting you high school diploma. I'm here to teach you, motivate you, and cheer you on all the way!
Love, Ms. B.

"The world is not all sunshine and rainbows"

5/27/2018

  Have you ever watched any of the Rocky movies from the 70's? I grew up watching these movies as a child. However, it was not until I became an adult that I was able to see all the wisdom that the Rocky movies contained.
  One of my favorite scenes of inspiration is seen in the video below. In this scene, Rocky Balboa says these words; "The world is not all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place. I don't care how tough you are...it will kick you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you get hit, it's about how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you are worth then get out there and get what you are worth. But you got to be willing to take the hits".  Rocky goes on to say, "Stop pointing fingers and saying you ain't where you want to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that...but until you start believing in yourself, you ain't going to have a life". Rocky Balboa
   Life has dealt me with its fair share of hits and a few times, those hits knocked me down hard. However, every time life knocked me down, I would tell myself that I have two choices; I could stay down living a life of resentment and regret or I could get up, forgive and move on.
   I chose to pick up my broken pieces and move on. Funny thing about life, it keeps moving forward regardless of what decision we chose.
   For those of you who may feel that life has knocked you down, my advice to you is to not give up, instead pull yourself up and start over! Every day is a new beginning and a new chance to remind yourself that you are worthy of having a good and abundant life.
  Remember, what defines us is not our falls but how we rise after falling. Rise to the top and find happiness. I will be cheering you on all the way.

Love, Ms. B.

Art: Line Showing Through Your Paint Life: Embracing Our Past

5/21/2017

What a wonderful day I had here in NYC! I had an exquisite lunch with a brilliant Art Curator at the Metropolitan Museum of Art today! I am preparing a lesson for all of you on Edvard Munch and Expressionism so I was able to glean so much information from him that I will bring back and share with you next week.

After lunch, I went to one of the galleries in the Met to view some of Winslow Homers' watercolor paintings. I stood in front of a magnificent painting of Homer's, just quietly viewing and enjoying the artistry of his work, when I noticed a couple standing next to me discussing the same painting. I was curious to hear what they had to say about the piece so I took my earphones out of my ears to ease drop on their conversation…hmm, interesting.

The woman was pointing out how she could see pencil lines showing through the watercolor paint and she felt that Homer should have, “cleaned up his work before he finished it". I walked away thinking about her comment.

Should an artist leave pencil lines show through the paint or should they clean up their work before they finish? Well, it is my opinion that the artwork is more interesting when the pencil lines show through the paint. I feel that the lines gives me a hidden insight to the process the artist was taking to create the work, or shall I say, “The steps the artist took to get there.” The pencil lines allow me to see the artists' original intentions.

Then I started thinking about art and life. If my life was a painting, would I allow people to ‘see my lines’ through my paint, or would I clean it all up and make everything in my life appear perfect?

Would I want people to see all the steps I took to get to the place I am right now? YES, yes, yes! We learn from each other. I teach you guys more than just art, right?

Art comes from within us. It is a means of self-expression. That is why I strongly believe that if I am to properly teach you how to be good artists then I must not just teach you how to 'make art' but I must teach you how to 'think about art'.

All the things that happened in our life 'show through' just like the under-drawing of a watercolor. Songwriters, singers, and rappers express their life experiences with words, we as visual artist express life experiences, visually. If this is true, then why would you want to conceal or hide anything? Rappers certainly don't, they put it all out there!

Allow the world to see who you are and all the things in your life that brought you to the place where you stand today. The good, the bad and the ugly…embrace you. Embrace your heritage, your social economic background, your community, your school….accept and be happy with who you really are. Don’t hide anything! It is very freeing, trust me! Express you and you will fulfill your purpose as an artist.

Art: The Brooklyn Potter Life: Life, Art & Time

5/20/2017

Today I left Manhattan and venture out to Brooklyn. I've never actually been there and I hear that there is a really cool artist community there. So I hopped on the subway train and off I went. WOW, super cool place!

I came across an art studio where there was a potter working with a lump of clay. All around him was amazing pieces that he created. I was enamored at what I saw. I am not a particular fan of pottery, I appreciate paintings and drawings more, but this man was great. So I decided to stand with the rest of the crowd and watch him work.

Well, I watched and I watched and I watched….nothing. He just kept playing with the clay. He didn't talk, he just held the clay in his hands moving it around into different forms but he never actually made anything. I said to myself, “If he isn't going to make something, I’m moving on.” I didn't want to waste any more time in my day just watching him play with clay. So I walked away.

Hmmm, I thought about it. Time, Art and life. If what I am always telling you is true and that is, the secret to life is to be happy, then we need to individually discover what makes us happy and live that life, right?

If an artist puts a paint brush to a canvas and the painting is ‘instantly complete’ then off he goes to the next one….is that good? Would that process make the artist happy? Or, should we be more like that potter? Take our time, just play with the clay and push it around knowing that it will be beautiful when it is done; no need to rush it, just play and enjoy the process? To slow down and enjoy the life we have in our hands at this moment...just enjoy...hmmm?

I taught you last week that Leonardo Da Vinci worked three years on the Mona Lisa. Some of you gasped and said, “What?” But let’s think about it. He gave himself three years to enjoy the process. Maybe that is why he never gave the painting away. Maybe that is why he loved it so much that he kept it to himself; he became attached to it intimately. Maybe history has it all wrong. I taught you that the books say that he was never satisfied with it so he never gave it to his client.

Maybe, just maybe it wasn’t that he was not satisfied with it, but instead he fell in love with it because he spent three years interacting with the making of the painting and the painting had a piece of his soul. They were attached.

So, as I sit here drinking my skinny vanilla latte at Starbucks…thinking back to the potter that I just walked away from… maybe there is no hurry to create art, or life or relationships or careers. Maybe we should just be happy “playing with the clay, so to speak.” Why hurry, just to finish and get another lump of clay to start another piece? Why not just enjoy what is in your hands (life) now? Think about it! Love, Ms. B

Yale University:Yale National Initiative Fellow

5/10/2017

Writing Curriculum for Yale National Initiative

Look at the beautiful space where I work on my curriculum unit at Yale! I am currently writing a curriculum unit plan that will explore modern and ancient symbolism by making historical, cultural and artistic connections between ancient Celtic art forms such symbols, pictures, and fonts with contemporary urban art. You will be able to access my writings in October through the Yale University website under the Yale National Initiative page. I will let all of you know more when that time arrives. Here are some photos to show all of you how beautiful the campus is. I hope that many of you will have the opportunity to study at Yale in the future. Love, Ms. B.

The beautiful rotunda on my way to a dinner party at Yale University!

One of the libraries!

National Scholar's Day at The George Washington University

12/19/2016

Claes Nobel - Teacher of Distinction 2016

Claes Nobel, a native of Sweden, is grandson of Ludvig Nobel and grand nephew to Alfred Nobel, who established the Nobel Prizes

I would like to thank The National Society of High School Scholars and Mr. Claes Nobel from the Nobel family for honoring high school scholars and honored teachers of distinction at The George Washington University last weekend. Once, again it was a wonderful experience. Thank you for making me feel so special.

Time to Celebrate!

3/25/2016

Today, we had a beautiful art party to celebrate the completion of the "Youth Art for Healing" project. The paintings have been picked up and they are on their way to Georgetown Hospital. My student's paintings will be on permanent display in the hospital waiting rooms for the purpose of bringing comfort, inspiration and healing for patients and their loved ones, and healthcare professionals. I couldn't be more proud of my students.
To learn more about the non-profit organization; Youth Art For Healing, please click on the link below.

http://www.youthartforhealing.org

Volunteer After The Blizzard...

1/23/2016

Well, the 'Blizzard of 2016' is almost over, tomorrow the sun will shine and we will dig ourselves out of all of this snow. The last time that I was shut in like this was way back in 2005 during hurricane Wilma. Although that was a scary event, there was so much good that came out of that catastrophe.
After the storm passed, I saw neighbors helping neighbors. Everyone one came together as a community. One of my fondest memories was how every home on my cul-de-sac had a big cookout together in the middle of the street. You see, at that time we were without power for over two weeks and we knew that all of our food was going to go bad, so we emptied our freezers and pulled all the gas grills out to the middle of the street and we had a huge neighborhood cookout. We never did anything like that prior to the storm; the storm brought us together. I also remember how beautiful the stars were at that time. Everyone for miles lost power so that when the city was dark, all the stars in the sky illuminated.
Because I have lived through such a time as this, I would like to give all of you a challenge. Most churches will be closed tomorrow, (I know my church will be), so instead of going to church, or sleeping in, why don't you go out and help a neighbor dig their way out of the snow? If there is an elderly person in your neighborhood, go and see if they need help. Also, think of the single moms out there, they could use help too.
I often think that times like this happen so that we could stop and rest from our busy lives, spend time with our families and loved ones, and simply stay home. I also believe that we are given this opportunity to serve others. Take the opportunity and see how wonderful you will feel by showing help and compassion to others.
I can't wait to hear about all of it when we get back to school...someday! Love, Ms. B.

Compassionate People are the Happiest People

1/20/2016

Today I read a fascinating article about compassion. I learned that our entire body changes when we feel compassion. It is a known fact that when we feel true compassion our heart rate slows down, we secrete the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, and regions of the brain linked to empathy, caregiving and feelings of pleasure light up, which often results in our wanting to approach and care for other people. And did you know that compassionate people tend to think less about all the negative things that have happened in their life and they worry less about the future than those who do not show compassion?
So, if compassionate people are happier, worry less and have no fear of the future, then how do we become more compassionate people? I have written earlier blogs on compassion but in this blog, I want to examine exactly what compassion is and what does ‘acts of compassion’ actually look like.
So, what exactly is compassion anyways? I will begin by telling you what compassion is not. Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, although they are closely related. Let’s begin with empathy. According to Webster’s Dictionary, “empathy is the feeling that you get when you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions: the ability to share someone else’s feelings”. For example, if I see someone crying over the death of a loved one, I could feel sad and cry with them because I feel bad about what happened. That is empathy.
Altruism is when someone gives unselfishly to the welfare of others. It is usually expressed through finances. An example of this would be when a wealthy person donates a large sum of money to a charity, they would be considered, “altruistic”.
You might be thinking to yourself, “both scenarios sound like compassion, so what’s the difference?” Well, here’s the difference. The difference lies in the compassionate person’s desire to alleviate other’s distress. A compassionate person can feel the pain of others (that would be empathy), but then deeply desires to alleviate it (that would be compassion). Compassion literally means “to suffer together.”
Although it may appear that the altruistic person is acting out of compassion, that may not be the case at all, because altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion. I know an altruistic man who is recognized for his large donations to charities, but the truth is, he only gives in order to receive a tax break for his donations. He is altruistic, but there is nothing compassionate about his giving.
So if being compassionate is healthier, how can we develop a more compassionate character? If compassion doesn't come naturally to you, did you know that you could work on being more compassionate? Here are just a few things that you can do to build compassion into your character.

Listen without judgment. As you listen, try to imagine yourself in the person’s shoes. You will feel empathy and as you work on this, it will turn into compassion.
Act out your empathy. When you feel empathy towards others, put those feelings into action by trying to help the person, then watch your empathy turn into deep compassion.
Feel gratitude and express gratitude. Thinking about gratitude makes us feel happy. When we feel happy, we are more likely to feel caring and loving towards others. When these emotions developed within us, they lead towards developing real compassion for others.
Acts of kindness lead to compassion. Don't simply wait until an empathetic moment comes your way to begin to build compassion, start today. Start by thinking of ways that you can bless others and by doing so, your small acts of kindness will turn into compassionate acts.
Love. The most important act of all!

Love leads to compassion; they go hand in hand. Those who have the ability to deeply love are the most compassionate people. So give love a chance and watch your compassion grow. It's hard work, but remember if it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you! Let's change for the better.
Love, Ms. B.

Constant Vigilance!

1/19/2016

Celebrate a healthy life!

Often times our greatest strength is our greatest weakness. For me, my greatest strength is living a well-ordered life, however, it can be a weakness too. Let me explain. Possibly as a result, of me always striving to maintain a well-ordered life, I miss being present in the moment. I know that I write about this topic often, but it is so important to master this concept in order to live a healthy and balanced life.
Yesterday, I mentioned that at times I feel like a hamster running on a wheel, living a life of fast, perpetual motion but, not feeling like I captured the true meaning of a happy day. Life can be so busy and feel overwhelming to me at times! I often feel as though there are not enough hours in my day to accomplish all that needs to be done, and that can cause me anxious feelings that steal joy out of my life.
Let’s face it, life will just happen despite all of our efforts to control things. However, we do have the power to choose what areas of our life we want to work on.
There are times when we focus our attention on our health, our education, on building relationships or developing a spiritual life. However, where I struggle (and I feel this struggle today) is maintaining a well-ordered healthy life at all times. But then I have to ask myself, “Is this impossible?”
Doesn’t life sometimes feel like as soon as you get one part right, something else goes wrong? We focus our attention in one area, just to have other areas of our life suffer. For example, I’ve noticed that if I focus too much on my work, then my personal relationships suffer. So what is the answer to this problem and how do we maintain balance in life?
I believe the answer lies in maintaining “CONSTANT VIGILANCE”. You see life is a balancing act. Maintaining all the areas of our life with vigilance takes effort. Let’s take a moment to define vigilance. One definition of vigilance is; “state of being vigilant; watchfulness”. When I look up the definition of a word, I also look at synonyms of the word to help me understand its meaning more clearly. A few synonyms of vigilance are; “alertness, attention, heedfulness, concern, care”.
So, if I am correct, then I must be ‘watchful’ and alert to the areas of my life that I may be neglecting. I must take heed and be concerned if I am not giving the proper attention to certain areas of my life. This takes effort, but most importantly, it takes being able to self-reflect. The ability to self-reflect will allow you to look into your life and recognize what areas need care and attention.
Wouldn’t life be so much easier if once we reached perfect health, we never need to maintain our health? Or if we reached perfect relationships, then we never need to give our relationships attention again? It would be so much easier, but life doesn’t work like that.
Life is filled with forward movement and backward movement. You know the old saying, “Two steps forward, one step back”. I always look at it as if I am doing great, as long as I am not moving backwards completely.
So, let’s stay vigilant, and address areas of our life that we have been neglecting. Being vigilant in life is a full-time job, but the benefits of staying on top of your issues in life will pay off. Take the time to self-reflect. Focus on your goals and keep looking ahead.
Life can be hard and things WILL go wrong but remember if we never experienced struggles, we would never recognize our victories! Live a healthy, well-balanced and victorious life. Love, Ms. B.

What If...

1/10/2016

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I’ve been reading a book entitled, IF by Mark Batterson. It is a great book that causes the reader to question events in life that leave us asking ourselves, “What if?” Many people are stuck in “if” only, living lives marked by regret.
     Have you ever asked yourself, “What if?” “What if I did not quit school”, or “What if I’d tried harder in school, maybe I could have gone to college”. What if!
     This book has caused me to contemplate my own life. I love when books, people, or sermons stir up change in my life. This book is a life changer.
Did you know that research has found that when people are young, they regret things that they did, however as we age, older people tend to regret things that they did not do?
     Younger people look at their bad decisions and regret making them while older people regret opportunities that they missed in life. Nonetheless, life is always full of regrets. So how do we live a life that is not full of regrets, is it possible?
   Honestly, I don’t know the answer to that question, but what I do know is this, we all make mistakes…or do we? I reframe from calling my bad decisions mistakes, instead I just look at them as learning curves in life that guided me off in another direction. When I realize that I have left my path in life, I quickly get myself back on track, forgive myself and move on. No regrets!
In order to do that, you must see that you have a purpose in life. Realizing your purpose and staying on track means that you must stop chasing the wrong things in life, things that lead to destruction. Instead get your life in order and set high goals for yourself. Many of you speak to me about money, as if that is the only answer to life's problems. You must realize that money also causes problems in life. I love this quote, “When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous.” Wayne Dyer
    Another way of not living a life full of regrets is that you must let go of the Victim Mentality. People who live their entire life as victims never achieve happiness or success. I look at it this way…if someone hurt you in the past, leave it in the past or that person continues to hurt you even if they are no longer in your life. Also, give up excuses as to why you can’t be successful. Don't make excuses, make progress. There are many people who have pulled themselves out of poverty and reached the heights of success.
     Take Ben Carson for example. Mr. Carson was a poor child born to a 13-year-old mother. His mother cleaned houses for a living along with holding down two other jobs. Mr. Carter’s father abandoned him at a young age. They were very poor. Ben Carson could have lived a life blaming his father for leaving him, or his mother for being poor. But instead, Ben Carson worked hard at school and ended up graduating from University of Michigan Medical School and Yale University and now he is running for President of the United States of America.
     I say, give up the “what if” mentality and remember that you can become whatever you want to be in life. So think big, dream big, believe big and the results will be big!

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars!” Lee Brown

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2016: The Great Coming Together

1/3/2016

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My New Year’s blog is a little late this year mainly due to that fact that I spent all weekend contemplating on what my New Year’s resolution would be for 2016. One great thing about journaling or blogging is that you can always go back and see where you were last year. When I read the blog that I wrote last New Year's Eve, it was all about “investing”.
    You see, last year I was investing in myself by getting another Master’s degree, deepening my spiritual life and focusing on health and wellness. I had goals last year that I set for myself and I am proud to say that I reach every goal even higher than I dreamed I would.
     I am in a totally different place in my life this year than I was last year which brings me to the title that I will call this year, “The Great Coming Together”. Yes, this year I will not set any resolutions to remove bad habits from my life. I will not attempt to get a better job, move to a different city, restore my finances or lose weight and get healthier. I have reached all those goals and more.
    This year is the year where I pull all areas of my life together to live in a higher state of joy and contentedness. I will bring my new career, degree, home, city, spiritual awareness all together to live the full life that I believe I was born to live.
     As we approach the second semester of school, you to will find yourself in a place where you can claim this year as your “Great Coming Together”. All of the things that you have learned and strived for up to this point will come together for you in a way that reveals a stronger and wiser person. You will be in the position (after a lot of hard work) to present to the world a young man or women with a high school degree ready to move onto bigger and greater things!
      You see, when things ‘come together’ it puts many separate parts into one whole. We are stronger living whole lives than living broken lives. We all walk this journey of life at a different pace, so maybe you will not be living a year of 'coming together' of your hard work, but instead you are recognizing the changes that you need to make in your life.
     Maybe you will be removing things that need to be removed from your life and/or bringing in needed changes. Where ever you find yourself this new year, remember that you have control over your life's direction. It all lies in the choices that we make. You can choose things that are good for you or you can choose to live a life of destructive behavior.
     Making changes in your life can feel very scary. But do you know what is even scarier? Regrets. Take time to look around you and decide where you want to be at the end of this year. Then make a game plan, set goals and work to get there. If you stick to your plan and work hard, anything is possible. I will be here to guide you and cheer you all along the way!
 Happy New Year to all my students and friends. May this be your best year ever!
God Bless, Ms. B.

I found this article online that may help you set some great goals this year. Check it out.

http://addicted2success.com/life/20-ways-to-live-your-life-at-a-whole-new-level/

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Have a Wonderful Winter Break

12/17/2015

Have a wonderful holiday. When we get back in January we will do some amazing things in the art room! I have big plans for you. I will miss you , stay safe.
Love, Ms. B.

Pressure

12/15/2015

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Earlier today, I walked through the galleries at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History to view all of the gems. If I am not looking at art, you can find me gazing at minerals and gems. This is a new interest of mine, brought about from the short time that I stopped teaching in 2013 to sell jewelry for David Yurman in Manhattan and in Boca Raton. Prior to selling for Yurman, I really didn’t know very much about gems. During the short time that I sold for Yurman, I broke three sales records. One of the records that I broke was that I was the first salesperson at the Boca Boutique to sell a diamond from their bridal collection. It was a gorgeous $40,000 diamond!
I learned a little about diamonds back then, and today as I gazed into the cases of diamonds, it made me think about the wonderful mysteries of diamonds. Did you know that diamonds come from a material (some say carbon, others say charcoal) that has been subjected to great heat, pressure and stress, in order for it to transform into a beautiful diamond? When the natural material is placed under pressure, it will transform into a diamond or if it can’t handle the pressure, it will simply become dust. Fascinating!
What a wonderful analogy to life. Some of us, when placed under stress and pressure will rise to the top and achieve success, while others crumble under pressure and quit.
l want to challenge you to think about how you handle pressure in your life. Do you fall to pieces or does stress cause you to gather your strength to conquer the situation? Truthfully, I have reacted to stress both ways. There have been times when I have fallen apart over stressful situations, and there are other times when pressure empowered me to continue on.
High school can place a lot of stress and pressure on you. There is peer pressure, performance pressure, pressure for grades, pressure for GPA’s and pressure to get into college. For some of you, it is simply the pressure to finish high school and get your diploma.
So, what can you do to ensure that you don’t crumble under pressure in school? This is an important topic to discuss because one thing is for sure; we can not escape pressure in life.
One of the key factors that will help you be successful in school and to handle pressure is to surround yourself with supportive people. You are not alone in this journey. You have teachers, administrators, counselors, resource specialists, security officers, and climate & culture people all around you to help you be successful, so take advantage of all that support.
Also, I suggest to surround yourself with friends who are on the right path and who share similar goals that you have, and try to minimize everything that will distract you and keep you from making the right decisions.
Take responsibility for your school work and believe in yourself. Make a concerted effort to see challenges as opportunities for achievement and growth, but don’t forget to pace yourself. Stress and pressure can wear you down at times. Sometimes, you have to stop and take a break to rest. If you run yourself down too much you will crash under pressure, so remember to eat healthy, sleep and exercise.
Life is so interesting. Sometimes, when things are at its worse, and the pressure is on, you might feel defeated, but, always remember, it is always darkest before the dawn. People in my life have seen me at my worse and did not stick around long enough to see me blossom. They did not have the capacity to understand that catepillars turn into butterflies, sand into pearls, and coal into diamonds.
When I look at you, I don't see a lump of coal, I see a diamond in the making. Don't quit under pressure, allow your education to transform you into something beautiful. Love, Ms. B.

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What Can You Give This Holiday Season?

12/5/2015

Many of us do not have a lot of extra money at the holidays season to buy gifts for our family, friends and neighbors, but there are many things that you can give that doesn't cost a thing! Love and kindness are free to give and wonderful to receive. Random acts of kindness is always free and will bring more happiness to you than you will give to others. Try it and see if I am right!

The Season of Love

12/2/2015

This is the season of giving. It is a season of joy, peace and most importantly love. "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things". Life is meaningless if you do not have love in your heart. If you have nothing to give this holiday season, try giving love. Love is the most precious of all gifts; it is free to give and it is free to receive plus it makes the world a better place!

English - love , French - l'amour, German - Liebe, Spanish - amor, Italian - amore, Portuguese - amor, Polish - miłość
Dutch - liefde, Finnish - rakkaus, Norwegian - kjærlighet
Danish - kærlighed, Swedish - kärlek, Greek - ἀγάπη (agape), Hungarian - szerelem, Turkish - așk, Chinese - 爱 (ai), Japanese - 愛 (ai), Korean - 사랑 (sarang

Auguro a tutti voi un felice e salutare vacanza stagione. Buon Natale, Ms. B.

Young Life, South East D.C.

12/1/2015

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Camping with my students in Goshen, Virginia.

Awesome to have the opportunity to bring urban kids into the country (away from the busy city) so they can peacefully explore who they are and where they are going in life. I am blessed to be apart of changing the lives of teens. I'm grateful.

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Rockbridge Young Life Camp

12/1/2015

Changing Lives For Eternity

When I was in high school I belonged to an amazing club called Young Life and now I am a Young Life leader at Ballou High School. This weekend we took a group of students to a Young Life camp in Goshen, Virginia called, Rockbridge Camp. It was an amazing time for the kids and for me! Lives were changed, and friendships were built. Check out our photos and if you are curious to learn more about Young Life, click on the links below.
Now, I will get to bed early and try to re-cope some of the lost sleep from this weekend. Love, Ms. B.
https://dcsouth.younglife.org/Pages/default.aspx
https://www.younglife.org/Pages/default.aspx

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Donna Bonavia

I am an art educator and a professional artist. I write this blog to guide my students in (SEL) social, emotional, and academic development. S.E.L. is the District of Columbia Public School's priority because we believe that we must educate the whole child.