Ballou High School ​Visual Arts Department
2017-2018
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The Tarzan Theory

9/6/2015

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   A few years ago, I was told by a close friend that one of my worse personality traits is that I don’t “play Tarzan” in life. I never heard of this concept, so I asked her to elaborate. She went on to tell me that I let go of things or move on from things before I have something else lined up to replace it. I found this fascinating, she called it her, ‘Tarzan Theory”.
      You see, when Tarzan navigated through the jungle, he would go from tree to tree swinging from vine to vine. He never let go of a vine until his other hand was firmly grasping the next vine. Apparently, it was clear to all my friends that I would walk away from something before I had the ‘new’ thing, or “vine” in my hand.
     So let’s think about this. Should we always have the next best thing in our hand before we let go of what we think is not good for us? People do this all the time when it comes to relationships. They will not break up with a person until they know that they have a new relationship lined up to replace the old. People do it with teams, memberships, jobs, places to live, churches and so on. Many people don’t make the decision to walk away from something or someone until they know exactly what will replace it. In my opinion, this is a sign of weakness.
     I am very different when it comes to this behavior. I will walk away from something strictly on the basis that it is not good for me. My friend was correct in her analysis of my personality.
     You see, when you are truly happy with yourself, you’re not afraid to be alone with yourself. You don’t always ‘need’ to have someone with you to make you happy. Happiness can come from within. As a matter of fact, I would rather be alone with myself than spend the rest of my life with the wrong person.
     Trust me that being happy does not mean the everything is perfect, it is not! But what it does mean is that I have decided to see beyond life’s imperfections and make the ‘choice’ to live in happiness. I don’t need to ‘replace’ people and places to ensure me of my happiness.
     The other reason that I don’t play Tarzan is that I have too much confidence in myself to need to always have the next thing lined up to fill a gap in my life. Confidence is a beautiful thing. Oscar Wilde said it best when he said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”. You get confidence in life by putting yourself out there to get things done. Once you see yourself achieving goals, living out dreams and being successful, you will develop more confidence.
      Now, let me make one thing clear, I truly don’t believe that we are meant to live alone. We were created for love. Love is universal, no one can be left out. But learn to love yourself and think of life as seasons. There is nothing wrong with taking a season off from dating in order to accomplish a goal...like graduating!!! Trust me, that when the right person comes into your life at the right time, you will know it. Get your life in place first, stay patient and expect nothing less than the best for yourself! Leave all that ‘Tarzan playing’ for the weak people who are afraid of being alone for a season! You’re stronger than that! Love, Ms. B.



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 This Morning I Make a Choice...

9/4/2015

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“They love the best who love with compassion”. –Ellen Anne Hill

     The sun is just beginning to rise and I am sitting at the teacher's desk in my classroom; two hours before the opening of the school's doors. I just finished my prayers and now I make a choice...I chose to love the unloveable, have patience with everyone, and to forgive, forgive...forgive, over and over again. I hope that you "Chose" to do the same. 
"To the least of these..."
Love, Ms. B. 
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Motivation

9/3/2015

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PictureClassroom Family
     For the last two-three weeks, I have been sitting in faculty meeting after faculty meeting discussing the best ways to manage a classroom. One of the factors that we discussed is, “how to motivate your students”. As a teacher, I am expected to come up with classroom incentives as motivators for good behavior in my classroom. As a matter of fact, if you watch the iMovie that I made for students who missed the first week of school, I mention my ‘class incentives’.
      Truth-be-told, in the last 32 years of teaching I have NEVER used incentives in my classroom. I came up with those incentives in my video because I was required to do so by my school. Many teachers use candy, class coupons or prizes to motivate their students. I have been blessed never to have needed to reward behavior that I EXPECT from my students. It would be like my Principal giving me a reward every time I show up to work on time. Showing up to work on time is expected of me, and in my opinion, basic expectations should not be rewarded.
     But now that we are on the topic, let’s think about this question, “What motivates you?” For years, it was assumed that the best motivator for desirable behaviors was to offer cash rewards. But guess what, it turns out that research has proven that offering cash rewards, at least in the realm of creative work and problem-solving, actually encourages worse results.  So here is what the experts are saying is the factors that motivate people, they are:

·      Purpose

·      Mastery

·      Autonomy

·      Belonging


     One of our basic human needs in life is to feel that we have a purpose. Believing that we have a purpose is a major element that motivates people. I knew a very old man who lived all alone with his cat. He woke up everyday hanging on to life because he thought his purpose was to feed and care for his cat. I believe that his sense of having a purpose was his motivation to continue to live. Without his pet, I believe he would have given up on life.             We all have a need to belong. Belonging is a huge motivator for many people. We want to belong to a family, love, a group, or team. Many teenagers get involved with gangs because they need to fill their need to belong, even if it is with a bad group of people.
     Autonomy is our need to have control over our life. We all need to feel that we have at least some control of what happens to us every day. If we lose the feeling of control in our lives, we lose our motivation and simply give up. After all, if we have no control of what happens to us, then why bother trying? We lose motivation.
     Mastery is simply our need to feel that we are good at something in life. Mastery is also a motivational factor that leads to us gaining self-respect and pride. When we are good at something it affirms us that we have value. This is a huge motivational factor in life.
     So, allow me to challenge you to think about what motivates you. I believe that we all have a little of all four motivational factors in all of us. However, most likely, there is one factor listed that will be your greatest motivator. For me, my greatest motivator is my need for purpose. I need to feel that my life is making a difference and that there is a purpose for me being on this earth. Probably a close second is my need to belong.
     In my classroom, I try to figure out what my students' motivational factors are and then I use that knowledge to motivate them. This kind of motivation is a life changer. It is far greater to change a person's view of themselves for a lifetime than it is to give a piece of candy as an instant reward for a behavior. As one who is motivated by my need to have a "purpose" I want to change life outcomes, not just get through a 70 minute class period.

    Besides, if I had a bag of candy in my classroom, I would be eating the candy all day! I love you guys. Stay motivated and be the best you can be. Love, Ms. B.

For more research on this topic, I would suggest Dr. Robyn Jackson's book, Never Work Harder Than Your Students. I recently heard her lecture and I am currently reading her book, she is amazing and full of wisdom.
Link: 
http://www.amazon.com/Never-Harder-Students-Principles-Teaching/dp/1416607579


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Disappointments...

9/2/2015

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PictureSmile, and have fun!
   Goals, hmmm. I have written a lot on this topic. I have told you guys to set goals, aspire to reach your goals and never give up on achieving your goals. Last week, I reached a goal that I set out to achieve and honestly when I finally got what I wanted it was uneventful. Actually, it was down-right disappointing. I asked myself, “What was the big deal anyway?”
     Do you guys remember last year when I missed a perfect score in one of my graduate classes by one point? I was so upset because I was so close, but I didn’t reach the goal. I told you that before I finish my Master’s degree, I want to get a perfect score in a course; well I did it; I got 624 points out of 624. But now that it is all said and done, it ended up being no big deal. I worked so hard for something that ended up not feeling so great when I got it. Have you ever wanted something so bad that you work so hard on achieving it, but when you do, it was a disappointment?
     I am reading in the book of Ecclesiastes where King Solomon has the same sediments that I am having. You see, King Solomon was the richest, wisest man on the earth at one time. He achieved great things in his lifetime. In his writings, he speaks of the great buildings and monuments that he built, the knowledge that he acquired in his lifetime, all the beautiful woman and all the pleasures that he had in life. At one point, Solomon says, ““Look, I am better educated than any of the kings before me in Jerusalem. I have greater wisdom and knowledge,” So I worked hard to be wise instead of foolish, but now I realize that even this was like chasing the wind. For the more my wisdom, the more my grief; to increase knowledge only increases distress.”
     Even King Solomon was disappointed with all his success. So, the question is, “Why do we get disappointed?” I took a few days to think about what I believe is the answer to this question. Here is what I came up with: disappointment is internal. I know that sounds a little deep, so stay with me here. When we feel disappointment, we are actually feeling an emotion. We create an emotional response to the situation, or at least I did. It all has to do with EXPECTATIONS. That’s right; expectation is the reason we feel disappointed. 

     King Solomon expected that if he was the richest, wisest man on the earth he should also be the happiest man on the earth. When he was not happy, he felt the emotion of disappointment because he did not get what he EXPECTED. When I got a perfect score in a course, I EXPECTED to feel elated, but I didn’t FEEL that way, so I was disappointed.
     We get disappointed when things fail to live up to our expectations. If you think about it, we attach expectation to everything in life. We EXPECT people around us to make us happy, we EXPECT our jobs to make us feel purposeful and we EXPECT life to be joyful. We are constantly disappointed that it doesn’t work like this. So, if I am correct about this, then what is the solution?
     Possibly, if we live in the moment more, we would view life as an adventure without expecting certain outcomes, and therefore, we would be less disappointed. You know the old saying, “Enjoy the ride”. Also, if we value all aspects of life as experiences that help to mold us into better people, then maybe we will be less likely to end up disappointed when things don’t go our way; “Make the best out of every situation”.
     Lastly, just relax and enjoy the journey. Let’s not place such high expectations on others, situations and life in general. Let’s just relax and enjoy this life that we are blessed to be living. Being enthusiastic and positive about life will make life fun and exciting. After thinking about this for a couple days, I have concluded that the best way to fight against disappointments is to widen my parameters and accept the fact that life is not perfect, people are not perfect and the circumstances that I face daily will not be perfect. But I will wake up with a smile on my face and peace in my heart and I will press on. I will replace feelings of disappointment with hope, love and peace. 

Good night, Ms. B. 


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Enjoy Your Day Off!

9/1/2015

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PictureMe, at 18! I was your age at one time, LOL!
​     I hope that all of you are enjoying your day off from school. I woke up this morning with so many things that I want to accomplish that I don’t even know where to begin! I have graduate school homework, lesson plans, errands to run, household things to do and I want to go for a run today…my list goes on and on. Sometimes life can feel so overwhelming. There are days where I feel like a hamster on a wheel, moving in constant perpetual motion but never really getting very far. I don’t want today to be that kind of day.
     Most of the time, life for me can move at such a fast pace that I have to be careful not to lose my posture of feeling ‘present’ in the moment. The results of living too busy of a life cause me to miss the gifts that every day has to offer. I remember once reading a quote that says “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life”. How true this statement can be!
     You see, so many people miss their share of happiness in life, not because it wasn’t there for them or because they never found happiness, they miss their share of happiness because they didn’t stop to take hold of it. At times, we can be so busy working for things that are not important in the big scheme of life that we miss what really matters.
    So what really matters in life? Will it really matter that I accomplish everything on my list today? How can I prioritize my list to do the things that matter the most?
     I suppose to answer that question, we must ask ourselves, what one thing in life can we honestly say brings us the most happiness, and what can’t we live without? I believe the answer is, love and relationships.
    
      “At the end of life, what really matters is 
       not what we bought but what we built;
       not what we got but what we shared;
       not our competence but our character;
       and not our success, but our
       significance. Live a life that matters.
       Live a life of Love”.

 
     Having said all of that, I think I will meet some friends for coffee at Ebenezer’s Coffee House, come home and go for a run through the National Zoo, then after dinner I’ll do my lesson plans.
    Organize your day to fit in something that makes you happy. Include friends and family so that your life can feel rich and full. Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you may look back and realize that they were the big things. What we thought was so important did not matter at all. Have a wonderful day off and enjoy all of the blessings that a day can bring.
​ Love, Ms. B.

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    Donna Bonavia

    I am an art educator and  a professional artist. I write this blog to guide my students in  (SEL) social, emotional, and academic development. S.E.L. is the District of Columbia Public School's priority because we believe that we must educate the whole child.


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    Yale National Initiative
    Fellowship 2017


    2017-DCPS Standing Ovation recognition Highly Effective Teaching

    Picture2016-DCPS Standing Ovation recognition Highly Effective Teaching
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    DCPS Capital Commitment
    Fellow
    ​2015-Present

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    2015 Teacher of The Year Blanche Ely High School

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    2015 Civic Recognition Award Winner

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    2015 Greater Pompano Beach Chamber of Commerce
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    2015 Claes Nobel Educator of Distinction The National Society of High School Scholars
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    Teacher of the Year 2008
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    Teacher of the Year 2006-2007
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    Disney American Teacher Award Nominee "Creativity In Teaching" 2001
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    Teacher of the Year 1999
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    Teacher of the Year 1998
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    Outstanding Service-2011-2012
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    Outstanding Service-2010-2011
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    Outstanding Service-2009-2010
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    Outstanding Service-2008-2009
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    Outstanding Service-2007-2008

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    This work by Donna Bonavia is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
    Based on a work at www.msbonavia.com.
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