Blog Archives

Volunteer After The Blizzard...

1/23/2016

Well, the 'Blizzard of 2016' is almost over, tomorrow the sun will shine and we will dig ourselves out of all of this snow. The last time that I was shut in like this was way back in 2005 during hurricane Wilma. Although that was a scary event, there was so much good that came out of that catastrophe.
After the storm passed, I saw neighbors helping neighbors. Everyone one came together as a community. One of my fondest memories was how every home on my cul-de-sac had a big cookout together in the middle of the street. You see, at that time we were without power for over two weeks and we knew that all of our food was going to go bad, so we emptied our freezers and pulled all the gas grills out to the middle of the street and we had a huge neighborhood cookout. We never did anything like that prior to the storm; the storm brought us together. I also remember how beautiful the stars were at that time. Everyone for miles lost power so that when the city was dark, all the stars in the sky illuminated.
Because I have lived through such a time as this, I would like to give all of you a challenge. Most churches will be closed tomorrow, (I know my church will be), so instead of going to church, or sleeping in, why don't you go out and help a neighbor dig their way out of the snow? If there is an elderly person in your neighborhood, go and see if they need help. Also, think of the single moms out there, they could use help too.
I often think that times like this happen so that we could stop and rest from our busy lives, spend time with our families and loved ones, and simply stay home. I also believe that we are given this opportunity to serve others. Take the opportunity and see how wonderful you will feel by showing help and compassion to others.
I can't wait to hear about all of it when we get back to school...someday! Love, Ms. B.

Compassionate People are the Happiest People

1/20/2016

Today I read a fascinating article about compassion. I learned that our entire body changes when we feel compassion. It is a known fact that when we feel true compassion our heart rate slows down, we secrete the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, and regions of the brain linked to empathy, caregiving and feelings of pleasure light up, which often results in our wanting to approach and care for other people. And did you know that compassionate people tend to think less about all the negative things that have happened in their life and they worry less about the future than those who do not show compassion?
So, if compassionate people are happier, worry less and have no fear of the future, then how do we become more compassionate people? I have written earlier blogs on compassion but in this blog, I want to examine exactly what compassion is and what does ‘acts of compassion’ actually look like.
So, what exactly is compassion anyways? I will begin by telling you what compassion is not. Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, although they are closely related. Let’s begin with empathy. According to Webster’s Dictionary, “empathy is the feeling that you get when you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions: the ability to share someone else’s feelings”. For example, if I see someone crying over the death of a loved one, I could feel sad and cry with them because I feel bad about what happened. That is empathy.
Altruism is when someone gives unselfishly to the welfare of others. It is usually expressed through finances. An example of this would be when a wealthy person donates a large sum of money to a charity, they would be considered, “altruistic”.
You might be thinking to yourself, “both scenarios sound like compassion, so what’s the difference?” Well, here’s the difference. The difference lies in the compassionate person’s desire to alleviate other’s distress. A compassionate person can feel the pain of others (that would be empathy), but then deeply desires to alleviate it (that would be compassion). Compassion literally means “to suffer together.”
Although it may appear that the altruistic person is acting out of compassion, that may not be the case at all, because altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion. I know an altruistic man who is recognized for his large donations to charities, but the truth is, he only gives in order to receive a tax break for his donations. He is altruistic, but there is nothing compassionate about his giving.
So if being compassionate is healthier, how can we develop a more compassionate character? If compassion doesn't come naturally to you, did you know that you could work on being more compassionate? Here are just a few things that you can do to build compassion into your character.

Listen without judgment. As you listen, try to imagine yourself in the person’s shoes. You will feel empathy and as you work on this, it will turn into compassion.
Act out your empathy. When you feel empathy towards others, put those feelings into action by trying to help the person, then watch your empathy turn into deep compassion.
Feel gratitude and express gratitude. Thinking about gratitude makes us feel happy. When we feel happy, we are more likely to feel caring and loving towards others. When these emotions developed within us, they lead towards developing real compassion for others.
Acts of kindness lead to compassion. Don't simply wait until an empathetic moment comes your way to begin to build compassion, start today. Start by thinking of ways that you can bless others and by doing so, your small acts of kindness will turn into compassionate acts.
Love. The most important act of all!

Love leads to compassion; they go hand in hand. Those who have the ability to deeply love are the most compassionate people. So give love a chance and watch your compassion grow. It's hard work, but remember if it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you! Let's change for the better.
Love, Ms. B.

Constant Vigilance!

1/19/2016

Celebrate a healthy life!

Often times our greatest strength is our greatest weakness. For me, my greatest strength is living a well-ordered life, however, it can be a weakness too. Let me explain. Possibly as a result, of me always striving to maintain a well-ordered life, I miss being present in the moment. I know that I write about this topic often, but it is so important to master this concept in order to live a healthy and balanced life.
Yesterday, I mentioned that at times I feel like a hamster running on a wheel, living a life of fast, perpetual motion but, not feeling like I captured the true meaning of a happy day. Life can be so busy and feel overwhelming to me at times! I often feel as though there are not enough hours in my day to accomplish all that needs to be done, and that can cause me anxious feelings that steal joy out of my life.
Let’s face it, life will just happen despite all of our efforts to control things. However, we do have the power to choose what areas of our life we want to work on.
There are times when we focus our attention on our health, our education, on building relationships or developing a spiritual life. However, where I struggle (and I feel this struggle today) is maintaining a well-ordered healthy life at all times. But then I have to ask myself, “Is this impossible?”
Doesn’t life sometimes feel like as soon as you get one part right, something else goes wrong? We focus our attention in one area, just to have other areas of our life suffer. For example, I’ve noticed that if I focus too much on my work, then my personal relationships suffer. So what is the answer to this problem and how do we maintain balance in life?
I believe the answer lies in maintaining “CONSTANT VIGILANCE”. You see life is a balancing act. Maintaining all the areas of our life with vigilance takes effort. Let’s take a moment to define vigilance. One definition of vigilance is; “state of being vigilant; watchfulness”. When I look up the definition of a word, I also look at synonyms of the word to help me understand its meaning more clearly. A few synonyms of vigilance are; “alertness, attention, heedfulness, concern, care”.
So, if I am correct, then I must be ‘watchful’ and alert to the areas of my life that I may be neglecting. I must take heed and be concerned if I am not giving the proper attention to certain areas of my life. This takes effort, but most importantly, it takes being able to self-reflect. The ability to self-reflect will allow you to look into your life and recognize what areas need care and attention.
Wouldn’t life be so much easier if once we reached perfect health, we never need to maintain our health? Or if we reached perfect relationships, then we never need to give our relationships attention again? It would be so much easier, but life doesn’t work like that.
Life is filled with forward movement and backward movement. You know the old saying, “Two steps forward, one step back”. I always look at it as if I am doing great, as long as I am not moving backwards completely.
So, let’s stay vigilant, and address areas of our life that we have been neglecting. Being vigilant in life is a full-time job, but the benefits of staying on top of your issues in life will pay off. Take the time to self-reflect. Focus on your goals and keep looking ahead.
Life can be hard and things WILL go wrong but remember if we never experienced struggles, we would never recognize our victories! Live a healthy, well-balanced and victorious life. Love, Ms. B.

What If...

1/10/2016

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I’ve been reading a book entitled, IF by Mark Batterson. It is a great book that causes the reader to question events in life that leave us asking ourselves, “What if?” Many people are stuck in “if” only, living lives marked by regret.
     Have you ever asked yourself, “What if?” “What if I did not quit school”, or “What if I’d tried harder in school, maybe I could have gone to college”. What if!
     This book has caused me to contemplate my own life. I love when books, people, or sermons stir up change in my life. This book is a life changer.
Did you know that research has found that when people are young, they regret things that they did, however as we age, older people tend to regret things that they did not do?
     Younger people look at their bad decisions and regret making them while older people regret opportunities that they missed in life. Nonetheless, life is always full of regrets. So how do we live a life that is not full of regrets, is it possible?
   Honestly, I don’t know the answer to that question, but what I do know is this, we all make mistakes…or do we? I reframe from calling my bad decisions mistakes, instead I just look at them as learning curves in life that guided me off in another direction. When I realize that I have left my path in life, I quickly get myself back on track, forgive myself and move on. No regrets!
In order to do that, you must see that you have a purpose in life. Realizing your purpose and staying on track means that you must stop chasing the wrong things in life, things that lead to destruction. Instead get your life in order and set high goals for yourself. Many of you speak to me about money, as if that is the only answer to life's problems. You must realize that money also causes problems in life. I love this quote, “When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous.” Wayne Dyer
    Another way of not living a life full of regrets is that you must let go of the Victim Mentality. People who live their entire life as victims never achieve happiness or success. I look at it this way…if someone hurt you in the past, leave it in the past or that person continues to hurt you even if they are no longer in your life. Also, give up excuses as to why you can’t be successful. Don't make excuses, make progress. There are many people who have pulled themselves out of poverty and reached the heights of success.
     Take Ben Carson for example. Mr. Carson was a poor child born to a 13-year-old mother. His mother cleaned houses for a living along with holding down two other jobs. Mr. Carter’s father abandoned him at a young age. They were very poor. Ben Carson could have lived a life blaming his father for leaving him, or his mother for being poor. But instead, Ben Carson worked hard at school and ended up graduating from University of Michigan Medical School and Yale University and now he is running for President of the United States of America.
     I say, give up the “what if” mentality and remember that you can become whatever you want to be in life. So think big, dream big, believe big and the results will be big!

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars!” Lee Brown

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2016: The Great Coming Together

1/3/2016

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My New Year’s blog is a little late this year mainly due to that fact that I spent all weekend contemplating on what my New Year’s resolution would be for 2016. One great thing about journaling or blogging is that you can always go back and see where you were last year. When I read the blog that I wrote last New Year's Eve, it was all about “investing”.
    You see, last year I was investing in myself by getting another Master’s degree, deepening my spiritual life and focusing on health and wellness. I had goals last year that I set for myself and I am proud to say that I reach every goal even higher than I dreamed I would.
     I am in a totally different place in my life this year than I was last year which brings me to the title that I will call this year, “The Great Coming Together”. Yes, this year I will not set any resolutions to remove bad habits from my life. I will not attempt to get a better job, move to a different city, restore my finances or lose weight and get healthier. I have reached all those goals and more.
    This year is the year where I pull all areas of my life together to live in a higher state of joy and contentedness. I will bring my new career, degree, home, city, spiritual awareness all together to live the full life that I believe I was born to live.
     As we approach the second semester of school, you to will find yourself in a place where you can claim this year as your “Great Coming Together”. All of the things that you have learned and strived for up to this point will come together for you in a way that reveals a stronger and wiser person. You will be in the position (after a lot of hard work) to present to the world a young man or women with a high school degree ready to move onto bigger and greater things!
      You see, when things ‘come together’ it puts many separate parts into one whole. We are stronger living whole lives than living broken lives. We all walk this journey of life at a different pace, so maybe you will not be living a year of 'coming together' of your hard work, but instead you are recognizing the changes that you need to make in your life.
     Maybe you will be removing things that need to be removed from your life and/or bringing in needed changes. Where ever you find yourself this new year, remember that you have control over your life's direction. It all lies in the choices that we make. You can choose things that are good for you or you can choose to live a life of destructive behavior.
     Making changes in your life can feel very scary. But do you know what is even scarier? Regrets. Take time to look around you and decide where you want to be at the end of this year. Then make a game plan, set goals and work to get there. If you stick to your plan and work hard, anything is possible. I will be here to guide you and cheer you all along the way!
 Happy New Year to all my students and friends. May this be your best year ever!
God Bless, Ms. B.

I found this article online that may help you set some great goals this year. Check it out.

http://addicted2success.com/life/20-ways-to-live-your-life-at-a-whole-new-level/

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Donna Bonavia

I am an art educator and a professional artist. I write this blog to guide my students in (SEL) social, emotional, and academic development. S.E.L. is the District of Columbia Public School's priority because we believe that we must educate the whole child.